France face the press after their 27 point thumping at the hands of the Wallabies
Mullets get the kicks. Source: Supplied
MATCHING mullets, abominable berets, dozing babies and a mysterious curse that targets Australian captains.
These are just a few of the crazy things that distracted us during the Wallabies' dominant 50-23 win over France tonight.
MORE: Read the entirely serious match report
1. Israel Folau's beastly magnificence
It took the guy 55 seconds to make his first linebreak of the match, and that was probably the low point of his performance. More like Israel Fo-WOW.
2. The mysterious curse of the captaincy
Stephen Moore had to leave the field after three minutes of his first game as captain. The hooker twisted his knee while tackling French flanker Bernard Le Roux, and in doing so, joined the likes of Will Genia, David Pocock and James Horwill in succumbing to the injury curse. Such a shame that we couldn't see Moore of him.
3. Aussies dutifully butchering French fashion
The Wallabies' fans were decked in their usual yellow scarfs and jerseys. That was normal. But tonight, they were also wearing bright yellow berets. Brisbane is about 16,500km from Paris, and you could still hear France's top fashion designers yelling "Sacre jaune!" in horror.
So passé, Brisbane. Source: Supplied
4. Craig Joubert, otherwise known as the James Earl Jones of referees
I could listen to that guy say "advawntage bloo" all night long. What a voice. And as referees go, he's actually pretty competent.
5. Wallabies five-eighth Bernard Foley's love affair with the right goalpost
He kicked the ball into it a gazillion times. OK, like twice. Still, holy Foley.
6. The second-coming of the 1980s
Flanker Michael Hooper and winger Nick Cummins were sporting the same obnoxious, outrageous, full-blown eighties-style mullet. It was hard to tell the two apart. They even used the same running technique — Hooper scored a try by sprinting down Cummins' wing like a meerkat on a sugar high. Or, dare I say, a rampaging honey badger.
Michael Hooper loves a bit of mullet. Source: Getty Images
Nick Cummins turns back the clock. Source: Getty Images
7. The French, aka "Les Coqs", living up to their nickname
The Wallabies scored their fourth try with a minute left in the first half. The match-sealing moment came after a ca-coq-any of errors from the French, who had long since entered full self-destruct mode.
8. Nic White's domination of all things halfbacky
Many Australians (i.e. Queensland) thought Will Genia should have been wearing the number nine on his back instead of missing the team altogether. But how about Nic White's fast, crisp passes from the ruck? Give the guy another go. He could be our version of the All Blacks' Aaron Smith.
9. This baby's absurdly cool earmuffs
As a 23-year-old, childless man, I can honestly say I have never seen an infant sleep so peacefully. These earmuffs could be the key to eternal happiness. Everyone should have a pair.
What game? Source: Supplied
Honourable mention: Pek Cowan's rainbow headgear, which had more colours than Sydney's Opera House during the Vivid Festival.
National colours? Source: Supplied
What did you think of the Wallabies' performance? Talk to us on Twitter: @SamClench | @newscomauHQ
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