The problem with I’m A Celebrity

Joel Creasey covets a framed Harry Styles as contestants receive their luxury items on Im A CelebrityGet Me Out Of Here! Courtesy: Network Ten.

Never imagined we would watch Julie Goodwin slingshotting monkeys across the African jungle, but there you have it folks. Source: Channel 10

TONIGHT'S show raised three major issues for me.

Just what has Merv done with the majority of his shirts?

How long before Lauren actually runs into the jungle in search of some poor wild creature to submit to her rage?

And mostly what I think we've all been thinking, why does this program have to be ninety minutes long?

Don't get me wrong I find mood swings as entertaining as the next man (particularly if that man is Andrew Daddo, I do love the expression on his face when a fellow camper goes a bit doo-lally).

Oh and by the way a big shout out to Anna who went in to an early morning melt down when she recalled that her beloved Tim had left, but by that same afternoon seemed to be having trouble recalling just who Tim was.

Or maybe, I'm just being cruel, seeing as it did occur in that extra thirty minutes when we all get cranky and a bit loopy.

But ninety minutes means we get a lot of time to spend watching the campers either saying just how bored and sad or happy and excited they are at any given moment. And from what I can gather at this particular point in time is that their emotions seemed to be as governed as much by wind direction as anything else.

Then of course we have the moments of great excitement, aka The Tucker Trials.

Well at least tonight we did.

I think that the producers realised the amount of anger they caused when last nights trial was nothing more dangerous than a blindfolded trip to a petting zoo.

Honestly, on other reality programs that would be considered a friggin' date.

So to make up for tonight we had my favourite pairing, Joel and Barry, tightrope walking over a dam almost two hundred meters above the ground.

Whatever you do, don't look down. Source: Channel 10

Hang on! Source: Channel 10

The next Hall and Oats? Source: Channel 10

I would rather knock back the maggot smoothie with a boar's blood chaser than have a crack at that one. But the boys manned up, grimly hanging onto each other to gather as many stars as they coal, d which despite their brave effort was sadly only two.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Joel and Barry need to keep this partnership once the show is over, I don't know maybe touring the clubs as a Hall and Oats covers band, that might work.

And of course tonight we had two new intruders, the lovely Julie Goodwin and the annoyingly likable (I'm a cricket tragic) Freddie Flintoff.

Now Freddie and Julie had to spend a night in something called the Hard Rocks Hotel, which seemed to me to be a hole in a wall that was decorated more comfortably and safely than some of the backpacker hostels I had come across in my youth.

So no big surprises that they completed the task and brought luxury items into the camp.

Ah, little luxury items like pillows and lilos and make up and what's this Lauren is unwrapping? Oh it's just the T-shirt she had her fiancee wear and then hermitically sealed in a bag so she could sit alone in the jungle and inhale his scent, nothing weird about that!

I would write more but I'm certain she will find out and thrash me mercilessly with a baboon's spinal cord.

Speaking of crazy is it just me or is the behaviour of her fellow campers starting to make Maureen appear just a tad … Oh dare I say … sane.

Or is that just what she wants you to think …

Mind you though, she did give me one of my favourite moments of the night.

She could easily grasp that Julie was a celebrity chef but Freddie's claim to fame was harder for her to grasp. So fortunately, the voice of reason, also known as Andrew Daddo stepped in to try and give the "Cricket for Dummies" explanation to Ms McCormack. It was like watching a Harvard lecturer explaining how cold fusion works to my cat. Greatly entertaining and almost endearing.

Ah, that's her plan, she's going to let Lauren do the front running on the crazy while she waits back, sharpens her weapons and organises her impending uprising.

Either that or she'll tap out some time this week.

Mikey Robins spent seven years behind the microphone as host of Triple J's National breakfast show before becoming a team leader on the iconic Channel Ten series, Good News Week. He's added stand up comedy to his long list of achievements and in 2011 Mikey went to Afghanistan to entertain the troops. You can follow him on Twitter @MikeyRobins

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