How this bullied boy got the last laugh

Written By Unknown on Jumat, 15 Maret 2013 | 22.54

Hayden Selfe, pictured with his mum Gail Nelson, and (r) his debut book. Pictures: Supplied Source: Supplied

  • Hayden Selfe writes debut novel, Hatchling Heroes
  • Diagnosed with Asperger's, was bullied at school
  • Book 'promotes that difference is OK'
  • Follow @KateMidena on Twitter

BULLYING affects one in four Australian kids. Meet the boy who turned his high school torment into a hero's tale.

Eighteen-year-old West Australian Hayden Selfe, who was diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder when he was four, is about to release his first novel.

"I was on holidays and normally I would be spending most of my time playing games or reading, but I didn't have any of those things around," says Hayden of penning Hatchling Heroes, book one in a fantasy series about a young girl on a quest to be accepted into the Order of the Goddess Minda.

"I had these thoughts in my head that kept going round and round and I was bored, but I had my computer so I thought, why not write them down? Hatching Heroes kind of just wrote itself. The ideas just kept coming as I typed them into my computer and it just evolved from there."


"He was a pain in the neck actually!" interjects Hayden's mum, Gail. "We were in Tasmania and we were driving around looking at all these amazing spots and he just wasn't interested at all. He wouldn't get out of the car. And when we forced him to get out of the car he argued incessantly. But it was all worth it in the end."

It was indeed worth it. Hayden's book, due to hit shelves in April, is tangible evidence of how far he's come since high school.

"I can't say that the first high school I went to was perfect, not by a long stretch. I'm slightly weird and slightly antisocial," Hayden concedes.

"Because he has Asperger's he is a little bit different and does things that don't quite fit the norm," adds Gail, "so of course other kids picked up on that right away. They would just do things that would push his buttons because they knew he would explode if they did and they could get a reaction from him.

"They'd wait for him in the playground and that was quite hard. Hayden paces a lot when he thinks, and paces around things like trees or poles or people, and he doesn't look where he's going and it makes him stand out quite a lot. And the kids would tease him and get quite physical with him.

"The worst time was when they videoed Hayden being taunted and put it up on YouTube. They stood in a circle around him and Hayden was swinging his bag around trying to break out until a teacher came in to get him out of there. But it wasn't like that was a once off - these things happened every day."

Hayden developed severe depression in Year 10, which is not uncommon for Asperger's sufferers. Asperger's is an autism spectrum disorder which is characterised by difficulties in social interaction and forming friendships, an inability to adhere to social norms, repetitive behaviour and a narrow area of interests. Unlike autism, however, there are often no delays in language and learning, and many Asperger's sufferers have above average intelligence.

"In general school was a real trial," Gail, who is a teacher, said. "It wasn't academic at all for him, he just didn't want to come to school. It was just too hard. We find with a lot of Asperger's students, they know that they are smart and that they can academically do things, but it's still that challenge - those thoughts keep coming in like, why aren't I the same as everybody else, why are you picking on me for something I can't help? He just kept saying, is this worth it, should I keep going, why is this happening, why am I alive, why do I bother, things like that?"

Something had to give, and for Hayden, it was the mainstream school. In Year 11 Hayden moved into a senior education facility called the Career Enterprise Support Centre, which focuses on getting people with special needs into the workforce.

It was there that Hayden was able to obtain a Certificate Two in hospitality, which eventually led to a traineeship at McDonald's - and more time for creating stories.

But given that Hayden describes himself as being "overly analytical and logical", how did he find himself writing fantasy?

"Well, I've always been into things like Dungeons and Dragons, and Artemis Fowl and those types of books. Most people think that when you get into fantasy and magic logic gets thrown at the window, but it doesn't - it actually plays a great part. There are rules in magic - in any fantasy series you'll find that magic has some rules somewhere and follows a certain path of logic. A plot is about logic. Character progression is about logic," he said.

With at least two more books in the series to come, the response from preview copies of Hatchling Heroes has been overwhelmingly positive.

"I think it's because the book promotes that difference is okay," says Gail. "It's okay to have Asperger's and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

"Already we've had feedback from people who have children with Asperger's who just say, this is so great because it's showing my child that being different is fine. I just had a parent overnight ring me up and say 'My son's just read your book, it was awesome, he never had any interest in English before but now he's reading and he's realised that having Asperger's means that he can do extra things. We would just love if that attitude reached everyone, across all schools."

"Great things don't always come from great people with great ideas," agrees Hayden. "Great things come from normal people who work hard."

Buy a copy of Hayden's novel here

Today is the National Day of Action Against Bullying. If you or someone you know is being bullied, check out the info on the Kids Helpline site


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